{"id":518,"date":"2012-03-10T03:32:36","date_gmt":"2012-03-10T03:32:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoodcomstudies.com\/theblueandgrey\/?p=518"},"modified":"2012-03-10T03:32:36","modified_gmt":"2012-03-10T03:32:36","slug":"awkward-advice-from-stacey-and-cassie-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/2012\/03\/10\/awkward-advice-from-stacey-and-cassie-7\/","title":{"rendered":"Awkward Advice from Stacey and Cassie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s this guy in my history class who totally won\u2019t leave me alone. On the first day of class, I came into class a bit late, and the only empty seat was next to him. So, I sat down and made polite chit-chat about something innocuous, like the weather, and now he thinks I like him. I definitely don\u2019t. I was not trying to flirt. I was just trying to be nice and make it through the class. I\u2019ve tried to tell him that I wasn\u2019t interested in him, but I don\u2019t think he gets it. How can I shake this guy?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Truly,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tryin\u2019 to be Nice in Shriner<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Tryin\u2019,<\/p>\n

First of all, we can tell by your playful removal of the final \u201cg\u201d in that word, that you are just too likeable. This needs to stop immediately! If you really don\u2019t want this guy to keep chasing after you, you will have to become the craziest, most undesirable person possible. Stop showering. Write notes displaying your strange, elaborate plans to contact alien visitors and perform scientific experiments on them. Be sure to draw a detailed diagram of your probe. Wear kitten sweaters every day. I don\u2019t mean a sweater with screen printed kittens on it. I mean you should literally start tying baby cats to crew neck sweaters. Six kittens per sweater should be enough, depending on the size of each kitten, of course. We\u2019ll leave that up to your discretion. After a week or two of sitting next to him in your cat sweater, smelling of urine, (which will totally happen if you fasten kittens to your body, sorry, but it needs to happen if this plan is to work) and planning a pseudo-sexual rendezvous with some Na\u2019avi, he will forget all about his little crush. Or, he will be even more attracted to you. In that case, jump him immediately. If he can put up with that, he will accept any and all of your eccentricities. A man like that is definitely a keeper.<\/p>\n

Yours,<\/p>\n

AA<\/p>\n

Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0I\u2019ve really been hitting it off with this girl in my history class. I think she\u2019s really into me. On the first day of class she spotted me from across the room and sat directly beside me. We talked for like fifteen minutes straight. We talked about the weather being unusually warm for February. She was totally flirting, right? I mean, what else could she mean when she said, \u201cYeah, I\u2019m ready for spring to come here to stay,\u201d if she didn\u2019t mean the she\u2019s ready for me to come over and spend the night with her? I think we really have something here. I\u2019d like to take it to the next level, but she keeps putting off making plans with me and dodging my calls and texts. Do you think she\u2019s playing hard to get?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Truly,<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Confused in Coblentz<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Confused,<\/p>\n

She\u2019s most certainly playing hard to get. Keep chasing after her, the ladies love that. Try to find some common interests with her so that you have more to talk about. Start wearing clothes that will spark up a conversation. For instance, we\u2019ve heard in last month\u2019s German Vogue, they highlighted a really hot trend. Kitten sweaters. Try fastening kittens to your hoodie. Ladies love cats. You will be irresistible. Also, with all of those pheromones emanating off the cats, she\u2019ll be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. I guarantee that after a few days, you won\u2019t have just caught her attention, but you will be beating the ladies away with a stick! Or, if not, you can use the stick to keep the kittens in line. They tend to get angry when you tie them to articles of clothing. Trust us, we learned that the hard way. Though the play on words is almost too good to resist, Pussy Panties\u2122 are definitely not the goldmine investment that we thought they would be.<\/p>\n

Yours,<\/p>\n

AA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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