{"id":309,"date":"2011-11-18T01:39:09","date_gmt":"2011-11-18T01:39:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoodcomstudies.com\/theblueandgrey\/?p=309"},"modified":"2011-11-18T01:39:09","modified_gmt":"2011-11-18T01:39:09","slug":"awkward-advice-from-stacey-and-cassie-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/2011\/11\/18\/awkward-advice-from-stacey-and-cassie-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Awkward Advice from Stacey and Cassie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been hanging out with this girl for a few weeks now, and we\u2019ve been keeping it pretty casual. I\u2019m worried that she might see me as only a friend, though. Is there a way that I can step out of the friend zone and show her that I want to be something more?<\/strong><\/p>\n

~Wishing I had those moves like Jagger<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Wishing,<\/p>\n

This is a problem that a lot of people struggle with. Making the transition from hanging out to \u201changing out\u201d is a delicate process and should be treated with great care and contemplation, for sure. We suggest taking her out to a movie. That\u2019s where the magic happens. First, when you sit down in the movie theater, make sure to sit in the very front, so you won\u2019t be able to see the screen at all. That way you won\u2019t really have to watch the movie, if you know what we mean. Then, cut a small hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket, about the size of your wrist. So, when she reaches in to grab some popcorn she\u2019ll grab hold of your hand instead. Amidst that tub of salty and buttery goodness, your romance will begin. With your other arm, feel free to pull out the old \u201cyawn and reach\u201d, but with a twist that even M. Night Shyamalan would be proud of. Instead of reaching around her shoulder, reach into her right pocket and grab her phone. With her phone, text your phone, \u201cLol, u r so cute, will u\u00a0 go out w\/\u00a0 me?\u201d Respond back on your phone, or, if you\u2019re more daring, just whisper, \u201cYou had me at lol,\u201d into her ear and kiss her passionately, just like in everybody\u2019s favorite rom com, Jerry Macguire. I assure you that after a sweet movie like that, she\u2019s sure to take you out of the friend zone and start to show you the money.<\/p>\n

Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m faced with a rather tricky problem.\u00a0 I am still a virgin and I don\u2019t know what to do about it.\u00a0 I want to have sex, but I just don\u2019t want to randomly lose my virginity and regret it.\u00a0 It\u2019s so frustrating!!!!\u00a0 Any suggestion?<\/strong><\/p>\n

-Anonymous<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Anonymous,<\/p>\n

Never fear!\u00a0 This is a problem that, believe it or not, everyone goes through at one time or another.\u00a0 It might seem inconceivable, but at one time, everyone starts out as a virgin.\u00a0 Your parents were once virgins, your friends were once virgins (and might still be), your professors were once virgins, your fish were once virgins, etc.\u00a0 Virginity, in terms of an analogy, is like a plaid blazer from Express.\u00a0 Some might scoff at it, some might idolize it, some might toss it away, some might put it in a corner and forget about it\u2026 the list can go on and on and on.\u00a0 The important thing to remember is that the decision to lose your virginity is just that: your decision!\u00a0 Don\u2019t feel pressure from others to just have sex.\u00a0 At the end of the day, just see what is most comfortable for you, and, importantly, disregard the copious sexual innuendos in those classic Disney films.<\/p>\n

Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I appreciate the question that you posted a few weeks ago about adding hot sauce to the dining hall food. I\u2019ve been using the hot sauce for the past week now, and my taste buds have singed off into an ashen mess.\u00a0 Do you have any other advice to spice up the dining hall food?<\/strong><\/p>\n

~Disappointed Diner<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Disappointed,<\/p>\n

Thanks for reading! Here at AA we have some great ideas to help you out. Warning: All of our recipes involve using the panini maker, because we have been eating paninis nonstop since it arrived, well, at least Cassie has. Please wear the appropriate oven mitts and be sure to bring your own heat resistant spatula before attempting any of these recipes, because that panini press is made up of two plates of solid Hellfire. If you touch either of them, your fingers will melt faster than a Nazi in an Indian Jones movie. One of our favorite treats in the morning is a breakfast sandwich. You can make your own and add your personal panache to this breakfast staple. First, take a bagel and toast it lightly in the toaster, or, if you like, you can butter it lightly, place both halves butts-up on the panini press and toast it that way. Then, grab some ham from the sandwich bar and place it on the press. Grill to your preference, salt to taste. Then, you can pile some scrambled eggs, cheese, and the ham atop your freshly toasted bagel. Grill the entire confection until the cheese is melted, and voila! You have a beautifully crafted breakfast sandwich. If you wish to be even fancier (Or, if you really just want to make the next person in line for the panini press even madder as they wait nine hours for you to complete this sandwich) consider grilling some red peppers or onions to add in as well!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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