{"id":261,"date":"2011-10-29T18:10:38","date_gmt":"2011-10-29T18:10:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hoodcomstudies.com\/theblueandgrey\/?p=261"},"modified":"2011-10-29T18:10:38","modified_gmt":"2011-10-29T18:10:38","slug":"awkward-advice-from-stacey-and-cassie-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/2011\/10\/29\/awkward-advice-from-stacey-and-cassie-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Awkward Advice from Stacey and Cassie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

My new guy and I have been having a lot of fun together. He\u2019s really sweet and funny, and I like him a lot.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, in the bedroom, he\u2019s less of a tiger and more of a three-toed sloth. What do I tell him when he asks me whether or not I enjoyed it? Can I tell the truth or should I spare his feelings?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Truly,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lackluster lovin\u2019 in Coblentz<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Lackluster,<\/p>\n

This is a tricky issue. Many people are under the impression that you should sugar coat your reaction so the guy feels as though he\u2019s done a good job and he feels assured of his masculinity.<\/p>\n

This is a terrible idea. Men, like cats, can and should be trained to do better in the boudoir. So, next time you two are doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel, feel free to let him know what you don\u2019t prefer by squirting him the face with a bottle of water. Cat trainers do this for cats as negative reinforcement. So, next time he tries that one move that turns your \u201cOh!\u201d into an \u201cOh no,\u201d just simply spray him in the face. He\u2019ll learn to stop doing that in the future. If you continue to do this, your love life should turn right around.<\/p>\n

And, if it doesn\u2019t, at least one of you will be getting wet.<\/p>\n

Yours,<\/p>\n

AA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I got out of a relationship about two years ago and have been single since. I\u2019m not sure what I\u2019m doing wrong. I drop hints, I\u2019m being honest, and I\u2019m being me. Some guys just dont get it. I\u2019m not sure what to do anymore, I\u2019m almost about to say forget it and be single forever. Any advice on what you think??<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Giving up Girl\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Giving up Girl,<\/p>\n

This is really upsetting.\u00a0 But the important thing to do is to NEVER give up.\u00a0 “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up\u201d (Winston Churchill said that\u2026 maybe).\u00a0 Importantly, you need to look at what you doing to woo a man and notice what is wrong in this strategy.\u00a0 Clearly, you are too focused on \u201cbeing me.\u201d\u00a0 You need to pretend to be someone else in hopes to best utilize your feminine wiles.\u00a0 Try talking, walking, speaking, reading, sleeping, thinking, and using the facilities in a NEW way.\u00a0 The gentleman callers will take notice and flock to you!<\/p>\n

For more help, I recommend watching Jenna Marble YouTube videos<\/a> – she gives great tips on how to live a fulfilling life.<\/p>\n

-AA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am having trouble waking up in the morning for classes.\u00a0 What should I do?\u00a0 I usually can\u2019t hear my alarm clock.\u00a0 I hate being late to things, but I fear that this problem can\u2019t be fixed.\u00a0 Help!<\/strong><\/p>\n

–Late in Life<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Late in Life,<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry!\u00a0 Everyone battles with this problem from time to time!\u00a0 The simple solution: buy multiple alarm clocks and scatter them around the room.\u00a0 You will eventually hear one.\u00a0 However, this could upset your roommate.<\/p>\n

The better, more fantastical solution: wake up in style!\u00a0 Try hiring 76 trombones in a great parade to wake you up.\u00a0 Or a team of mariachi singers.\u00a0 Or fireworks.\u00a0\u00a0 Or an a capella group like Glee (or Hood\u2019s own Acopacalypse) to appear out of nowhere singing a pleasant medley of musical tunes.\u00a0 This should definitely wake you up in the morning!<\/p>\n

-AA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Q. Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m becoming a little disenchanted by the food in Coblentz. I was stoked by the promise of a panini maker, but it\u2019s getting old. What can I do?<\/strong><\/p>\n

–Spiceless Girl<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Spiceless Girl,<\/p>\n

I always like to bring my own hot sauce to the dining hall. In fact, I always carry a gallon of it with me, just in case. I also have made some of the smaller, sample bottles into earrings, so I\u2019m never without my fix of the hot stuff.<\/p>\n

If Tabasco really isn\u2019t your thing, you can always try to create your own panini. I hear that the ladies in the kitchen love it when you use the waffle makers to make your own grilled sandwiches. It has no negative effects on the maker itself, and, in fact, the workers will applaud you for your intuitiveness and creativity.<\/p>\n

Love, kisses, razzle, dazzle, and spicy sizzle,<\/p>\n

-AA<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0Dear Awkward Advice,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been with my girlfriend for a few weeks.\u00a0 She\u2019s a really nice person, but she still doesn\u2019t enjoy when we have sex together.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m doing wrong.\u00a0 Any suggestions?<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Thanks,<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Girlfriend Glitch\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Glitch,<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry about it!\u00a0 Most people have trouble with this aspect of a relationship early on.\u00a0 The thing is, the problem is probably not you, it\u2019s her dilemma.\u00a0 However, you need to help your lady out by setting the mood.\u00a0 Find out what she enjoys.\u00a0 Maybe she\u2019s one of those people who likes to watch \u201cFlashdance\u201d before having sex.\u00a0 Or maybe she\u2019s one of those people who needs the help of a visual aid such as sock puppets or a flip book to visualize what will happen during your intimate encounter. Or maybe she\u2019s a narcissist. Fill your bedroom with pictures of herself and that might help to turn her on.\u00a0 Regardless, remember the classic \u201cAnnie\u201d saying \u201cyou\u2019re never fully dressed without a smile,\u201d and that should help create the mood.<\/p>\n

-AA<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Awkward Advice, My new guy and I have been having a lot of fun together. He\u2019s really sweet and funny, and I like him a lot. Unfortunately, in the bedroom, he\u2019s less of a […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":262,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[57,89,97,561,12],"class_list":["post-261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lifestyle","tag-awkward-advice","tag-cassie-schaeffer","tag-issue-4","tag-lifestyle","tag-stacey-axler"],"aioseo_notices":[],"cc_featured_image_caption":{"caption_text":false,"source_text":false,"source_url":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":263,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions\/263"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/262"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theblueandgrey.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}