Heartly House leads active bystander training

By Sofia Montoya-Deck //

Being an active bystander is as simple as saying, “Excuse me.”

Caroline Dato, Heartly House’s Community Engagement Lead, led an active bystander training in collaboration with Hood’s Office of Community and Inclusivity on Oct. 1. Dato began the presentation by detailing the importance of the “Excuse Me Campaign,” in which bystanders can use these two words to intervene when they think someone might be unsafe.

Heartly House specializes in helping victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking and child abuse by providing supportive services, such as resources and shelter.

The hour-long training covered topics such as key terms, the impact of sexual assault, barriers to intervening, bystander intervention strategies and resources.

College campuses are often subject to a phenomenon known as the “Red Zone.” The Center for Women and Families defines the Red Zone as a “period of time from the beginning of fall semester to Thanksgiving break when sexual assaults on U.S. college campuses spike.” The Center also notes that any student, regardless of age or gender, is at risk, yet freshman females are the most vulnerable.

According to Heartly House, every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the survivor.

It is important to note that sexual assault and violence can happen to anyone, no matter their gender, race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status. “A lot of people have a stereotype in their heads of what a sexual assault victim or survivor should look like,” Dato said. “If we’re only looking for particular survivors, we’re going to miss situations where the victim isn’t someone who fits the idea of what we have in our head.”

Dato and the attendees, who were composed of Hood students and faculty, discussed the ripple effect that sexual assault has on the victim and their community alike. Effects on mental health include anxiety, trauma, PTSD and depression, as well as social detriments such as withdrawing from friends and social activities or difficulty concentrating at work or school. These consequences additionally affect friends, family members and partner(s) of victims.

“It was helpful to begin to think of the things that we see that we don’t immediately identify as sexual assault or harassment,” attendee Rev. Beth O’Malley said.

“There’s so many different ways we can help prevent violence before it occurs,” Dato said. When discussing the example of rape culture, she said, “We can intervene before that thought ever becomes a behavior.”

The rape culture pyramid begins with “victimization” and the use of phrases such as “boys will be boys.” The culture then escalates to “degradation” efforts that may include catcalls or inappropriate pictures. “Removal of authority” follows with actions such as dosing and sexual coercion. The top of the pyramid, “explicit violence,” consists of rape, murder and other extreme actions.

“I think it was really helpful to see the rape culture pyramid and to think about how suddenly some of the things that end up in violence begin with accepted questionable behavior like stereotyping, and catcalling,” O’Malley said.

“I actually didn’t know anything about the rape culture pyramid, so I learned about that,” senior Natalie Feit said of the session. She also emphasized the importance of knowing bystanders can intervene in different ways. “A lot of people think direct intervention is the only way to intervene. The 5 D’s are very important to learn about.”

A bystander is anyone who sees a situation occurring, recognizes that it may lead to a harmful situation and does something about it.” There are 5 Ds of prosocial bystander intervention: delegating, distracting, directing, delaying and documenting. Different strategies may be used in different scenarios depending on the aggressor and/or victim.

Some marginalized groups may be at higher risk of experiencing sexual assault. They may also have less access to helpful resources. “Research shows that people of color who are victims of the situation are often not helped to the same degree as white victims who are in the same situation,” Dato said.

In Maryland alone, an average of 60 people a year lose their lives to dating violence. “60 people is a lot, especially when it’s preventable violence,” Dato said. “Oftentimes, these things are happening, and we might not even recognize that it’s happening.”

Students who missed the bystander training on Oct. 1 can find additional educational information on the Heartly House website (HeartlyHouse.org). According to Director of Inclusive Excellence Akeem Todman, Hood hopes to offer a similar bystander training program in the spring semester.

“Heartly House is here to help survivors and also secondary survivors, meaning people who know a survivor and want to help them as well,” Dato said.

Frederick’s Heartly House offers all services free of cost to anyone living, working or attending school in Frederick County. Anyone struggling with issues such as sexual assault or domestic violence can call Heartly House’s 24/7 hotline: 301-662-8800.

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