Ask BeeGee: How to write Ask BeeGee

We’re getting a little bit meta in this week’s edition of Ask BeeGee.

Graduation is in a month, which means I will be retiring as the author of this column. Cue sad violin music.

I thought it might be a good idea to write a guide of sorts for the person who will be taking over writing the Ask BeeGee column. Whoever you are, please take good care of it, I’ve become kind of attached.

Without further ado, here’s your step-by-step (mostly serious) guide on how to write Ask BeeGee. Prepare yourself, I’ve really ramped up the entertainment value this week. It is truly my tour de force.

Step 1: Think of a topic to give advice about.

Sometimes I pick a topic that’s relevant that particular week, like a holiday, spring break, finals, or course selection. Or I talk about something from my own life, like how to help your friends with relationships problems or how to make friends as a first-year student when it seems impossible.

Other times, when I can’t think of an idea, I bother my friends until they give me suggestions. Shout out to my friends.  

Step 2: Insert as many sarcastic quips and pop-culture references as your editors will allow.

This column is just as much about me testing out my hypothetical stand-up routine as it is about advice. Just kidding, well mostly.

But nobody wants to read a boring column. Adding a little bit of pizzazz is never a bad thing, as long as you also remember to give actual advice. Sometimes I forget.

Step 3: Give some actual advice.

Buried among the sarcasm and self-deprecating humor, are usually a few pieces of useful advice. That is the whole point of an advice column, right?

Step 4: Get a little too personal, on occasion.

In my experience writing this column, it’s easier to give advice that will be useful to people if it’s something you’ve experienced as well. It’s also important to make yourself relatable, even if it isn’t always flattering.

Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your flaws. Even if you have hardly any, like me (if you’ve read this column before, you know that was what we in the business call a “total lie”).

My last and best piece of advice about giving advice is to try your best. You don’t have to know everything. While I may be giving advice, I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do have some of them, and that’s all that really matters.