Awkward Advice

Dear Awkward Advice,

I’m excited to be heading home for Christmas, but I have changed a lot since first coming to college. I’m not sure that my parents will understand. Is there a way I can ease my way into broaching the changes I’ve been through since coming to college?

Sincerely,

Every college kid ever

Dear Everybody

We have been getting this question a lot lately with the holidays coming around the corner. So, we thought we’d just write one letter to address all most of the changes that college kids go through during their first semester of college. How to tell your parents that:

You got something pierced or tattooed

This is probably going to be a bit of a tricky one to hide, unless you’re one of those people with one of those piercings or tats. I would put off showing your parents as long as possible. Honestly, they may never need to know. Strategically placed scarves, potted plants, or fruit bowls can hide any sort of piercing or tattoo if used properly. Thanksgiving is filled with props to use to block your face (or other body parts) from an unsuspecting relative who might object. Have fun with it!

You voted Libertarian

Politics are always a contentious issue, and they somehow always become a topic of conversation around the Thanksgiving table. (Especially after Uncle Carl has one to many glasses of hot apple wine, am I right?!) So, while your new found belief in minimizing the government to a point of non-existence and anarchy is important to you, I would only say those thoughts in an outrageous Australian accent. That way, people will think you’re kidding and laugh it off rather than assume you have gone to Hood and come back some sort of commie-pinko-weirdo. You can still share your thoughts and still have a peaceful holiday.

You’re gay

Coming out is all about proper timing, and preparing your family to hear the news. Go to Youtube and find every rendition of “Born this Way” and play them all on a loop for the entire weekend. By the time you’re about to head back to school, they will have been subliminally programmed to love homosexuals, dancing, and be 47% more likely to approve of someone wearing a meat dress. Trust us, we’ve done the research. Then, right before you leave, watch a clip of Ellen DeGeneres’ stand-up. If they laugh, you are golden. That’s the time to tell them. If not, we would wait and just write them a letter or direct message them on Twitter about it. Also, they should go to the doctor and make sure their funny bones are still intact.

Hope this helps.

Happy Holidays,

AA

If you really are having troubles with any of these issues, feel free to contact us at sma14@hood.edu or cas29@hood.edu for real talk about these sensitive issues.