Dear Awkward Advice,
I have a problem. For a long time, I’ve been struggling with this issue in private, trying to make it not true, but I can’t hold it in any longer. I’m a sleepwalker. I have been bearing this burden in silence, trying to hide the fact that I would wake up in strange locations, often in various states of dress. But, I can’t hide it any longer. (Partly because I’m tired of living a lie and partly because my roommate caught me walking around the room clucking like a chicken wearing only a kimono.) Please help me Awkward Advice, you’re my only hope.
Truly,
Sleepless in Shriner
Dear Sleepless,
There is hope for you and thousands suffering from the same issue. You are not alone. In fact, I would suggest proposing an LLC to Student Life for people in your situation. It would be good for you to be in a community of like-sleeping individuals where you can communicate and really discuss your problems. Also, whenever you embark upon your nocturnal outings, you’ll have plenty of company to interact with as you cha-cha and chicken dance your way through your REM cycle. In the meantime, I suggest you let your roommate strap you down whenever it comes time to sleep. This solution can actually be beneficial in two-fold. Hey Lovestruck, you could use those restraints to make your Valentine’s night extra steamy!
Yours,
AA
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