By Josie Wawrzyniak
During the holidays, many of us will be dining with the family of our current love interest. Whether we’re in their home or at a fancy restaurant, we want them to think their son or daughter is dating a sophisticated and well-mannered person.
Our parents tolerate our dinner table behavior at our home, but those are our parents – how do we impress strangers with dining skills we might not have?
The answer is quite simple: Focus on your behavior and do not let your bad habits take over.
Remember that when you are dining in a public place, your behavior is being scrutinized by not only those seated at your table but by other diners and restaurant personnel as well. You’ll want to act as if you are well accustomed to the dining experience.
Handling a napkin properly is the first step to creating a good impression.
Once seated, remove your napkin from the table and place it horizontally across your lap. Unfold it completely if it is a small napkin or fold it in half lengthwise if it is a large dinner-type napkin.
In addition to being a polite gesture, this protects your clothes from spills and drips.
If your silverware is wrapped inside your napkin, place the utensils in their appropriate places: forks to the left of the dinner plate, spoons and knives to the right. The knife should be nearest the plate with its blade facing the plate.
Keep the napkin on your lap throughout the entire meal and use it as necessary to gently blot your mouth. If it falls to the floor do not retrieve it. Politely ask your host or server for another.
Remember that you are “sophisticated,” so be sure to say “please” and “thank you.”
If you need to leave the table during a meal, place your napkin on your chair.
If you need to remove a piece of food from your mouth, carefully use your napkin to surreptitiously remove it.
When you’ve finished eating, place your napkin on the table next to your dinner plate, preferably on the right. Do not refold or crumple it.
Now that you know how to use a napkin, follow these rules as you finish your meal:
•If you are uneasy dining with strangers, just smile. Do not say you are nervous; they will not know unless you tell them.
•Do not chew gum.
•Do not begin to eat until everyone has been served. If someone’s dinner is delayed, politely ask for permission to begin eating.
•Do not speak with food in your mouth. If you are chewing and you are asked a question, gently gesture by pointing to your lips to indicate you will answer when finished.
•Do not leave a spoon in a cup or a bowl, set it on a saucer or to the side.
•Do not slurp through the straw when you’ve finished a drink.
•Do not blow your nose or sniffle at the table, pardon yourself then go to the restroom.
•Do not cough over the table or in anyone’s direction. Turn away and cover your mouth with your arm. If you cough into your hand, pardon yourself to go to the restroom to wash.
•Do not yell across the room if you see a friend enter.
•Do not put your elbows on the table.
•Do not reach across the table for something and especially not over another’s plate. Ask the person best positioned to hand it to you.
•Do not touch food directly if you are asked to pass bread or rolls. Instead, pass the plate or basket or use a napkin to handle the item.
•You may be served something you do not like to eat. Do not make a face or comment on it. Just ignore it and don’t eat it.
•Do not comment if someone at the table does something unusual with their food.
•If you smoke, do not eat your meal quickly so you can run outside to smoke. Control your urge for a little while and stay until dinner is over.
•Do not use a toothpick after your meal. If necessary, excuse yourself and temporarily leave the room.
•If you are at a restaurant as the guest of your date’s family, do not offer to pay the bill. Accept the gift of a meal graciously by telling the person who is paying the bill what a wonderful dinner it was and then sincerely thank them for it.
Follow these tips and you may be invited to dinner again!
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